(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – After recent reports of the guards at the New Prime Minister Secretariat being harassed by paranormal activity, the National Accountability Bureau (NAB) has finally stepped up to the occasion.
The spiritual wing of the NAB has taken Zakoota Jinn, who has been reportedly on the loose for several weeks, under paranormal custody and arrested him from the halls of the Secretariat on the charge of “spreading mischief.” The Jinn reportedly had been raising indecent and dissenting slogans mentioning the Prime Minister.
The guards have also reported frequently sighting a floating apparition wearing a white burka saying that their ordeal is still not over with this arrest.
The unofficial Advisor for Spiritual Affairs Tariq Jameel, who was instrumental in this breakthrough, suspects that the mischievous Zakoota had escaped the custody of the First Lady and that he should be immediately returned to the rightful mistress.
However, NAB Chairman Javed Iqbal insists that Zakoota should be handed over to the Spiritual Wing of the Federal Investigation agency (FIA).
The Special Assistant to the Prime Minister for Information and Broadcasting Firdaus Ashiq Awan has declared the arrest “a huge victory for justice,” while spiritual analysts Haroon-ur-Rashid and Orya Maqbool Jan have also hailed the arrest.
On the other hand, the Minister for Science and Technology Fawad Chaudhary has denied the reports of such an arrest, citing no scientific evidence for the existence of Jinns.
He instead claims that Zakoota was a construction worker from his native Jhelum in the process of converting the New Prime Minister Secretariat into a University of Spirituality and Medina State Studies as promised by the Savior Prime Minister.