(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD/NEW YORK – Pakistan’s efforts to gain diplomatic support amidst turmoil in the region are already bearing fruit as an increasing number of entities are agreeing with its narrative and position on matters of global significance.
Islamabad’s latest triumph came after World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin gave a very special message to Pakistani fans on August 14.
“As Stone Cold Steve Austin spoke to us via New York City on this recording device, a telephone, wishing Happy Pakistan Day, and appreciated the nation, the backing from the wrestling superstar has been perfectly timed ahead of the major diplomatic missions that Pakistan will be undertaking,” said Foreign Office Spokesperson Dr Mohammad Faisal while talking to The Dependent.
“And as Stone Cold Steve Austin already pointed out this is owing to proactive diplomacy on our part which began with supporting his career back in the day. I mean I’ve personally watched so many of his World Heavyweight Championships, Tag Team Championships, and Royal Rumbles – come on! If I could tell you the number of times I did the ‘stunner’ on my younger cousins!” Dr Faisal added.
At press time, the Foreign Ministry of Pakistan was trying to approach Bret The Hitman Hart to send in a message of support for Islamabad as well.