(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – Pakistan Peoples Party (PPP) cochairman and former president Asif Ali Zardari on Wednesday addressed the joint session of Parliament stating that the deteriorating situation in Kashmir was a major issue for Pakistan, second only to the continued, unchecked, presence of Muhajirs in the country.
“Kashmir is Pakistan’s second biggest issue after Muhajirs. In fact, Pakistan Peoples Party was formed to sort out Kashmir and to sort out Muhajirs. Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto worked diligently to help find solutions for both issues,” said Zardari.
Zardari’s speech designed to create awareness about the two biggest, and interlinked, issues of Kashmir and Muhajirs came after India abolished Article 370 of its constitution which granted special status to Jammu & Kashmir.
“[Indian Prime Minister Narendra] Modi is doing in Kashmir what Muhajirs are doing in Pakistan – claiming land that does not belong to them,” Zardari said during the joint session.
The former president of Pakistan was critical of the government’s dealing of the crises, saying that such failures would never have happened under his watch.
“If Modi had made such a move during my tenure, I would have taught those Muhajirs a lesson,” he maintained.