Maryam Nawaz arrested in fitting response to Indian aggression


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Two days after the Indian government scrapped Article 370 for Jammu and Kashmir and escalated the military presence in the valley, the Pakistan government has responded by arresting PML(N) leader Maryam Nawaz Sharif.

“This is just the sort of befitting response that Indian aggression needed,” said analyst and plastic wrapping artist Air Marshall (retd) Shahid Latif. “The Indians need to know that they can’t just do whatever they want.”

“This is just the sort of muscular nationalism that we need,” said analyst Mosharraf Zaidi, while speaking to The Dependent. “For the first time, the government and the military are on the same page. And it’s a beautiful page.”

Meanwhile, insider reports say that the government has made a plan of action for any further possible Indian actions. “If the Indians ratchet things up any more, we have some tricks up our sleeves, like the transfer of DPO Gondal, the re-arrest of Shehbaz Sharif and the mass incarceration of all kids at the Lahore Zoo who want to see the sher.”