‘Ready for lowlife trolls blaming me for your failures,’ writes Shamia Arzoo in heartwarming wedding vow

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

DUBAI – Shamia Arzoo, the would-be wife of Pakistan fast bowler Hasan Ali, has finalised her vows for their upcoming wedding, despite the couple maintaining that nothing has been decided yet, reliable sources have informed The Dependent.

According to sources close to the would-be bride, Shamia Arzoo took a long time finalising her vows, which include some of the most heartwarming promises that you’ll ever see.

As per the rough draft of the vow, available exclusively with The Dependent, Shamia has promised that she is willing to accept the reality that social media trolls will now pester her for as long as Hasan Ali is an active cricketer.

“You mean so much to me that I’m ready for lowlife Twitter trolls to blame me for all your failures,” reads a draft of the wedding vow that Shamia Arzoo has prepared for Hasan Ali.

The draft goes on to underline how even before the wedding, and at a time when the trolls weren’t even aware of her existence, they’ve already started blaming her for the visibly downward plunge in Hasan Ali’s career.

“You and I know that your bowling went downhill because you just stopped working hard and took all the success and fame for granted, but I’ll accept the fact that countless people with fake IDs and ridiculous DPs will find me as the one responsible for your problems,” reads another part of the vow.