Shahzeb Khanzada taken into custody for removing USB device before ‘safe to remove USB device’ sign appeared

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Leading television anchor Shahzeb Khanzada, generally considered to becritical of the ruling party, was taken into custody in the wee hours of Sunday from his Karachi home after he extracted from his laptop a USB flash drive before the computer showed the ‘safe to remove USB device’ message.

“It’s clearly not what you’re supposed to do,” said Tufail Siddiqui, deputy director FIA. “What is so hard to understand about why we have picked him up?”

When asked by The Dependent whether this was a cognizable offence, Siddiqui said there is no one who will say that it was okay to take out the device before the message showed. Reporters present still persisted in asking whether it was a cognizable offence.

“Yeah, okay it isn’t, we arrested him for terrorism or something. Whatever,” said Siddiqui.