(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – In what is surely the most heartwarming story of the year so far, the past week saw the nation overlook its own bias against a man who was wholeheartedly hated across the board to extend support at a time of crisis for him.
Yes, Pakistani cricketer Imam-ul-Haq, who is referred to as ‘Parchi’ owing to his selection in the national side courtesy his uncle Inzamam-ul-Haq, the former chief selector, is a man that most of us vehemently hate.
If it’s not the fact that he was picked over other cricketers owing to his family relations, it’s the fact that his batting is extremely slow-paced and more often than not fails to win any matches for Pakistan.
Even if one does somehow manage to make a case for him as a cricketer owing largely to an inflated average, and a couple of performances in South Africa and England, it was almost unanimously agreed that it is absolutely impossible to make a case for him as a decent human being.
But the impossible did become possible this week, after Imam-ul-Haq’s sex scandals and affairs with multiple women were leaked.
“I can’t stand the sight of him. He’s a burden on the national side. But here I stand with him completely. This is his private matter and he should not suffer any repercussions for this,” noted Jameel Ghaffar, an avid cricket fan and admin of three separate cricket groups on Facebook.
“I have been saying that he should be dropped from the national team, but now I absolutely do not want him to be dropped, because that would be interpreted as punishment for sexual misconduct, which is what I absolutely would not endorse,” said another cricket buff, Shaukat Bilal.
Just like you, we at The Dependent are also getting all gooey over this wonderful story. We hope our nation continues to self-reflect and rally behind people like Imam in such crises.