Govt announces Amnesty Scheme for national cricket team


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – The Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf government has announced its first amnesty scheme for whitening of undisclosed centuries, major wicket hauls, and crucial catches for the national cricket team following their exit from the World Cup.

The scheme has come into effect through a presidential ordinance, which will offer a period of 45 days after the World Cup’s culmination to the 15 members of the Pakistan squad for declaration of their undeclared performances by August 30.

The scheme, approved by the federal cabinet during a meeting presided over by Prime Minister Imran Khan on Friday, has five main pillars — scope, surcharge, averages, strike/economy rates and conditions.

Meanwhile, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) has voiced opposition to the idea of the amnesty scheme, saying doing so could hurt the country’s case at future international cricket events.

“The IMF is not in favour of amnesties for the national cricket team,” IMF’s country representative to Pakistan Teresa Daban Sanchez told The Dependent on Friday.

“Cross country experience shows that cricket amnesties usually have huge costs, such as undermining domestic cricketers’ morale and sense of fairness, that more than offset potential short-term gains for the country,” the IMF official added.