(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
President Arif Alvi has in his reference against Justice Qazi Faez Isa to the Supreme Judicial Council (SJC) included the charges of not flossing, and brushing before dinner, The Dependent has learned on good authority.
The government had filed a reference against Justice Isa in the SJC through the President, who attempted to strengthen it by including the Supreme Court Judge’s dental hygiene patterns in the reference.
“The true crime being committed is against this man’s God given teeth” read the reference, parts of which were made available to The Dependent.
“When was the last time he flossed? I urge you to ask him this question, I urge you to push him on this. Back him into a corner, get real close, look him in the eye and ask him. Impeach me if he doesn’t start sweating.”
“But not too close, of course, the lack of flossing means he has bad breath” it went on to say.
“Unfortunately that is only the beginning your honours, for he also doesn’t brush after dinner, the animal” the Presidents chides. “In fact, I have been told that he goes so far as to brush before dinner instead of after, which is a total waste of energy and good toothpaste, because the entire point of brushing at night is getting rid of any food stuck between your teeth so it doesn’t fester all night” the President explained in the letter.