CITY NOTES: Fighting corrupt elements


The good news is that we know it will be Eid on Wednesday. For that knowledge, we do not have to depend on Mufti Muneebur Rehman, but because we have an app from Mufti Fawad Chaudhry. What happens if the weather is bad? Not Mufti Fawad’s problem. He is supposed to be the Science and Technology Minister who believes that if you plant a gulab bush under a jaman tree, you get gulabjamuns. The Minister’s healthy figure tells us that he takes a particular interest in gulabjamuns. Of course, this would help explain his interest in being called Mufti. There’s halwa at stake.

Of course, the app raises the question of why the observer should stand on a particular piece of real estate. Look at Mufti Fawad’s boss, Imran Khan. There he was spending Lailatul Qadr in Makkah. Even though it was 26 Ramazan back home. That’s because the moon can be seen sooner in Makkah than in Mirpur, where the good Mufti is likely to seek it. Why not have an app telling us where we can see the crescent anywhere in the world. That way, we can all begin together. Of course, that means Mufti Fawad and a 62-member delegation must first tour the Islamic world, convincing them to take the app, the tour to include New York, Toronto, and London. New York, Toronto, and London? Would you rather they went to Khartoum, Dhaka, and Djakarta?

The OIC Summit didn’t consider Mufti Fawad’s app, but it did look at the fight developing between Saudi Arabia and Iran, with the US involved in the whole mess. I suppose Pakistan will now have to take the anti-US side, after the way that a retired lieutenant-general and a retired brigadier were convicted of espionage for the USA.

I wasn’t downloading the app. I’m not happy with the technology I do have. I was boggled by the Facebook notification I got for the birthday of Agha Akbar. He passed away last week. Very dear friend, in the flesh, as well as on Facebook. I suppose I should have pressed ‘like’ or something, but I didn’t have the heart. I wonder who are those hardy souls who press ‘like’ on the death notices that people occasionally post.

Perhaps somebody voting in the EU election? The results have been certainly odd. I mean, the Brexit party beat out both Labour and Tories too in the UK, the Greens did well in Germany and the Front National in France. The British PM, Teresa May, has resigned, and the Tory party will have to pick a new leader. Imran Khan doesn’t get it. She isn’t accused of corruption.

Imran got to go to the OIC because no one called him to Modi’s oath-taking as PM. Modi probably didn’t want to risk him speaking about Kashmir. Well, Modi wouldn’t want anyone to remind him of the British, but he went ahead and had Indian ex-cricketers around, even though they play a sport as quintessentially English as the Beefeaters of the Tower of London. And them I don’t believe Modi would want to know.

And Imran was telling the team things as they opened the World Cup campaign: “My advice to the Pakistan team today is what I would tell my players before a match: Give your 100 per cent, fight to the last ball and never let the fear of losing enter your mind, influence your strategy or play. Pakistan’s prayers and support are with Sarfaraz and the team.” The West Indies players read it and thought it was for them. They don’t read too good, so they missed the last line.

The other theory is that Sarfraz is a corrupt element, and Mian Nawaz had a lot of money on the West Indies. Some optimists remember that Pakistan began its 1992 World Cup campaign with a loss to the West Indies. Right. I’m not sure I want to go in any direction that has Sarfaraz as Prime Minister. Of course, Sarfaraz would have to start by making a cancer hospital. And Ibrarul Haq is making one. Making PM House Billo da ghar. Then there is the theory that Imran doesn’t want anyone to become a rival. He too doesn’t want Sarfraz as PM in 2045. He wants the job for himself then too. And at 93, he will still aim for the youth vote.

I don’t see why he shouldn’t make it. He’s headed in the right direction. Look at how he’s fighting the judiciary. The dust hadn’t settled on Justice Javed Iqbal and the video he starred in, that a reference was filed against Justice Faez Isa and a Sindh High Court judge for owning undeclared property abroad. Remember, in Naya Pakistan, an accusation is guilt. I’ve seen stuff circulating on the Net about how Justice Isa should get it in the neck because of relief he gave Mian Nawaz. I wonder what would have happened if he had got relief from a judge without any property abroad.

I think that there’s something also missing from the reports on PTM MNAs Mohsin Dawar and Ali Wazir leading an attack on an Army checkpost. Where are the views of Rao Anwar? The comments of Naquibullah Mahsud are also missing.