PM pays surprise visit to parliament, inquires about most pressing issues


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

A day after making unannounced visits at government hospitals and police stations in various remote areas of the country PM Khan paid a surprise visit to the National Assembly where he- similar to his other visits- inquired about the most pressing issues facing parliament.

Unsuspecting MNAs on the treasury benches were stopped dead in their tracks as they saw the leader of the house charge towards his seat. Most noticeable changes in positioning and body language were seen in cabinet members Faisal Vawda and Murad Saeed as the former quietly receded to the last row of benches while the latter sprung out of his chair, stood attentively straight with arms fixed at the side, fingers clenched inside either palm, chin up and looking straight waiting to receive an unmistakably disappointed look and nod from the PM – a sign that he could sit down, at ease.

“After witnessing the visibly positive effects of such ‘soft-raids’ the PM came up with a brilliant strategy, all by himself, to try and implement the same at the center, which remains a perpetually problematic area that needs fixing”, explained advisor to PM on parliamentary affairs.

Ten minutes into the session as Khwaja Asif began his speech PM Khan could be seen pointing towards the opposition benches reportedly asking Minister of Foreign Affairs Shah Mehmood Qureshi, sat to his left, “Is it really necessary to have these extras here? What do they contribute except for increasing the bill and slowing things down?” Qureshi’s answer although inaudible clearly perturbed the PM.

To a question regarding why the Prime Minister felt it necessary to attend parliament without prior intimation, the advisor forcing a grin with a look on his face that is typically followed by projectile vomiting answered, “a tiger always seeks out his prey and attacks without warning!”