(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
MUMBAI – Bollywood superstar Salman Khan, in the news for his status as one of India’s most eligible bachelors, has revealed his marital desires. Now 53, Salman has shown no signs of settling down, but has confessed in an exclusive interview with The Dependent that he wants children.
“I want children, but if I have children, they would have me as their father. I don’t want them to have me as a parent, but they would need parents,” Salman said.
“I can take care of a village as myself, but I don’t want to inflict myself as a father on anyone. That would be unforgivable,” he added.
Salman categorically stated that marriage was not on his mind right now, but children were.
“Marriage is not on my mind. Only children. Also, let me clarify that none of the biological means of having children is on my mind. Only children themselves,” he said.
“Of course, I rather enjoy the abovementioned means, it is only the individuals that those means are exercised with that I have a problem with. This is one of the reasons why I am not well-suited to be a father,” he clarified.
Salman expressed a desire to find a solution in the long-run.
“Maybe I can work out a win-win situation for everyone. But as much as I want children, I definitely won’t want my children to have me,” he concluded.