(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – There is no longer any impediment en route to peace between the two nuclear armed South Asian states following the victory of the rabid anti-Pakistan Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) in the Indian general elections.
These thoughts were expressed by Prime Minister Imran Khan during the National Security Conference meeting on Thursday, the minutes of which the premier had written down himself and repeated to himself on his way back home.
“That’s what I said, didn’t I? That BJP winning in India would ensure peace with Pakistan. Or was it solution to Kashmir? Well what’s the difference between peace with Pakistan and solution to Kashmir?” the premier asked while reading out the minutes to himself on his way back after the meeting.
“Okay, so BJP wins, Kashmir resolved and peace with Pakistan. But how will Pakistan get peace with such an anti-Pakistan party in India? Who cares, as long as Kashmir is resolved and I get the Nobel Peace Prize!” the premier added while continuing to read out the minutes in his head.
“Hang on, did I say that I do not deserve the Nobel Peace Prize? Why the hell did I tweet that!” he added.
“Hang on you moron, you also added that whoever resolves Kashmir will deserve it. And now you, the Prime Minister of Pakistan, will get it because the rabid anti-Pakistan party has won in India.”