New no-nonsense Finance Committee chairman can’t believe ‘what idiots at Finance Ministry have done to rupee’

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – New no-nonsense chairman of the National Assembly’s Standing Committee on Finance Asad Umar expressed his shock over the fall of the rupee’s value against the US dollar.

Expressing his disbelief at how the economy was being mishandled, the visibly strict Finance Committee chairman criticised what he felt were ‘idiotic decisions’.

“I can’t believe what those idiots at Finance Ministry have done to the rupee,” Umar said while speaking to reporters in Kohsar market. “If they aren’t careful and don’t rethink their strategy I’m going to reveal even more about them than I am going to do right now,” he added.

In a stunning turn of events in the capital city, Umar decided to spill the beans about the deal agreed with International Monetary Fund (IMF).

“The IMF deal is an act of sabotage against elected representatives of Pakistan and I will not spare anyone while revealing the secret clauses in the agreement,” Umar said.

“IMF deal is a threat against Pakistan’s sovereign status. I will defend the country’s honour in the National assembly hearings on this subject,” he added.

Observers have found similarities in this press briefing with Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto’s reaction in the aftermath of the Tashkent Agreement in 1966.

Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) Chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari has condemned Asad Umar for ‘stealing his family’s legacy.’