(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
As inflation steadily crept up to reach a five-year high of 9.4pc in the first eight months of the PTI government the number of views on all uploaded videos of the ‘92 Cricket World Cup highlights’ on video sharing site Youtube increased proportionately. A similar but relatively less profound effect was noted in videos surrounding subject matters such as Shaukat Khanum Memorial Cancer Hospital and even less so with regards to Namal College.
“It’s truly remarkable that with every 10 basis point increase in the CPI figure the number of views would see a proportionate surge in the number of views. What’s more, the demographics from where these additional views originated were the same with each increment”, said Taimoor Mubarik, a professor of Economics at Punjab University.
While attempting to find the same result in similar videos like Pakistan’s 2017 Champions Trophy Final victory against arch rivals India for example it was concluded that the video only shared a partially identical positive correlation with the escalation in tensions with India rather than horrific updates about the state of the country’s economy.
The Dependent was able to track down a Youtube user who had recently commented “Yeh hota hai leader! Jaisay World Cup laaya tha itnay saal pehlay, ussi taraan naya Pakistan laayega meira Kaptaan” (that’s what a real leader looks like! My Captain will deliver a New Pakistan just as he delivered the world cup all those years ago). To a question regarding why he had viewed the video 325 times in the past 8 months he answered “Well, just look at him. Takes the edge off to be honest!”