(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – The Pakistan Electronic Media Regulatory Authority (PEMRA) has issued a list of proclaimed offenders who will be allowed to be on national TV. The exhaustive list comes with the notification that accompanies the ban on the media coverage for anyone whose name is not mentioned.
The media regulator, in the notification stated that “concerned quarters” have observed that some proclaimed offenders when invited on TV programmes, “are usually not fully conversant with the latest criminal and unconstitutional developments due to their background and timing of their crimes”.
TV channels have been strictly instructed to provide coverage to any criminals who have not been pre-approved by the media regulatory authority.
“Their views/comments/opinions on media shall remain personal/independent expression and not attributable to the institution,” read PEMRA’s notification.
The notification added that any other proclaimed offenders desirous of appearing as analysts can contact PEMRA to obtain a no-objection certificate (NOC).
Former military ruler General Pervez Musharraf is present on PEMRA’s list, according to the notification. Additionally, Jamaat-ud-Dawa (JuD) Chief Hafiz Saeed and Ahl-e-Sunnat Wal Jamaat (ASWJ) Head Ahmed Ludhianvi are also listed.
“You can also obtain an NOC from the individuals mentioned on the list,” PEMRA’s notification reads.