‘Have nothing personal against MNAs’ says Hamza Ali Abbasi while throwing darts at picture of Murad Saeed


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Actor Hamza Ali Abbasi has clarified that his recent tweets supporting a switch from Westminster style parliamentary democracy to a more Presidential form had nothing to do with any personal issues, grudges, or jealousies he bore any current or former MNAs.

“No it has nothing to do with any jealousies or anything” he said speaking to The Dependent in his basement, where he was preoccupied by throwing darts at a picture of Federal Minister Murad Saeed.

Abbasi had earlier tweeted in support of a Westeros-style Iron Throne solution ideal to get rid of MNAs’ influence.

“What? Murad? You think I’m jealous of Murad? Trust me that slimy, good for nothing, self righteous little thing doesn’t even cross my mind” he said, even as he threw a series of darts towards the picture, throwing a dart harder every time he insulted the federal minister.

“He just thinks he so fancy and important, doesn’t he? Cosying up to Khan sb during cabinet meetings …. Why that stupid little …” he said before launching into a series of obscenities not reproducible on these hallowed pages.

“I just think” he said, pausing to go draw a fake mustache and horns on the picture of Murad Saeed before continuing, “that it’s a better idea than this MNA stuff. That way Khan sb can’t have any favourites because they’re politicians or whatever” he ended.