(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
“Facebook action is rejected’ says the federal minister of state for the interior Shehryar Afridi after the social media giant cracked down on what it called ‘coordinated inauthentic behaviour’ by employees of the Inter Services Public Relations.
Furthermore, the minister has put the company CEO Mark Zuckerberg on the Exit Control List. “He has to explain why he took these steps and we cannot allow him to flee the country without answering our questions.”
Upon being told by some of the reporters present that Zuckerberg is not even in the country and resides in Menlo Park, California, the minister said that this was “just a small technicality” and that the “media should do positive criticism and not criticism for the sake of criticism.”
“Why has Facebook taken this action which aligns well with the narrative of the enemies of Pakistan,” Afridi asked. “Facebook’s duty is to project a positive image of Pakistan, which it has not been able to do.”
“If these actions are not reverted, we will be forced to crack down on Facebook employees within the country,” he said.
When being told that the organisation does not employ any individual within the country, the minister said that Facebook was a media company and all that media, be it text, photos or video, was produced by its users. “Each of Facebook’s users is, therefore, an employee and we will be forced to crack down on them.”