(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
An exciting new startup plans to connect the voters and supporters of the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) with nearby riders who can reach their location in time to tell them that Imran Khan is still better than the other political choices.
Incubated at the Punjab government’s Plan 9 at the Arfa Karim Complex, the app is set to tap into the estimated Rs 500 million a year defensive-PTI-supporters market.
“We have clearly laid out revenue models,” said Haider Bhatti, founder of the app Youthea. “First we have the lowest tier, 92WC Light, which is our most affordable option, in which the rider will reach your house and simply agree and nod his or her head when the client says Imran Khan is still better than the others.”
“Then, there is the standard 92WC, which is our flagship tier. In this, the riders will say this themselves,” he continued. “Then, there is the 92WC Plus, where riders will say that double-digit inflation is still not as bad and embarrassing on the international stage as having a leader who reads off written notes when speaking and three other such lines.
“And, of course, for those of our clients who won’t mind shelling out some extra cash, we have the 92WC Deluxe where a full-immersion parallel experience can be constructed, like printed ‘proof’ that the Peshawar BRT was actually a federal government project funded and designed by the then PML-N government.”