Getting all losses out of system before world cup: Mickey Arthur

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

DUBAI – Pakistan’s head coach Mickey Arthur has said that the team’s recent 5-0 series loss to Australia in the UAE was an attempt to try and get all the losses out of the Pakistan team’s system before the upcoming World Cup.

Saying that criticism of the team was harsh and unwarranted, the Pakistan coach said that Australia’s whitewash of Pakistan was a clever ploy meant to lull the rest of the cricketing world into a sense of false security.

“You see this was actually our plan all along. Do all the losing we have in our system before the world cup, and go in fresh. After all, how many matches can you really lose in a row?” he questioned.

“I think we’ve achieved many of our objectives. We’ve lost five games, so that’s five games we would have lost in the world cup that we have now gotten rid of.”

The coach went on to add that plans had been put meticulously in place to make sure Pakistan lost all five games. Some of the techniques used were playing Umar Akmal, not taking their A-team, and to make absolutely certain, give Imad Wasim the captaincy for the last couple of matches.

“Honestly I think we could do with a couple more losses, you know to really get in shape. But oh well, we go with the preparation we have and we’ll need to back ourselves” he ended.