(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE – The Punjab Information and Culture Minister Fayyaz-ul-Hasan Chohan has come forth tendering an apology for not seeing the point of creating Pakistan if there is going to be a crackdown on anti-Hindu bigotry.
Clarifying his stance Chohan, talking exclusively to The Dependent, questioned the raison d’etre of the motherland that he simultaneously expressed a willingness to die for.
“There is a crackdown on true momineen like me, and I feel the space is shrinking when it comes to anti-Hindu sentiments,” he said.
“But here I would like to ask, if we can’t spread hatred for Hindus, what was the point of creating Pakistan? If we are supposed to treat Muslims the same as Hindus, then what the hell is the Two Nation Theory?” he asked.
Chohan, however, did concede that he might have gotten too graphic, but maintained that no way should he have been reprimanded.
“Our founding father repeatedly highlighted that Hindus worship cows, while Muslims eat them. I just went into the drinking side of the autonomy,” he said.
“If that grossed you out, I’d like to apologise, but no way am I going to say sorry for repeating what I studied in Pak studies, and madrassas.”