‘Would be on LoC fighting Indians myself if it weren’t for stupid court cases,’ says Musharraf


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

DUBAI – Demonstrating his trademark bravado, former military ruler General (retired) Pervez Musharraf has reiterated that he would personally attack Indian forces across the Line of Control (LoC), if it weren’t for the ongoing cases against him in the Supreme Court.

Calling the cases, ‘stupid’ and a ‘hindrance towards conclusively defeating India’, Musharraf, in an exclusive interview with The Dependent, urged Pakistan to ‘do the right thing’.

“If it weren’t for these stupid court cases, I would be on the LoC right now fighting Indians myself,” Musharraf said. “This just proves how dangerous these cases are. The conclusion of which case could possibly be more important than defeating India at war?” he added.

Musharraf further urged the Pakistani judiciary to think about the greater interests of the country and ‘immediately create the needed environment’ for him to return and fight on the LoC.

“I am fighting court cases when I should be fighting the enemy. If the creation of such an environment isn’t treason, I don’t know what is,” he said. “It doesn’t matter who I killed in Pakistan, if I can go and kill a few Indians!”