India to return Adnan Sami to reciprocate peace gesture

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

In a move from across the border that may spell the breaking of recent tensions, India has decided to return Pakistani intelligence operative, Adnan Sami, back to Pakistan in a good will gesture.

Sami, who has been undercover in India for nearly two decades, was discovered and kept by India sometime around 2015. Around that time, as part of his mission, Sami also took up Indian citizenship to further infiltrate the country.

“After Pakistan released Wing Commander Abhinandan, we decided that reciprocating the gesture would be in the benefit of regional stability” said a statement from the Indian foreign office.

“India is by no means done with Pakistan, but we would like to show the world that we too would prefer de-escalation. But don’t let that be mistaken for weakness.”

“Also, we really really don’t want him. He was just so 2005 you can have him” it went on to say in an apparent dig at Sami’s music career, which he had to undertake as part of his cover.

Meanwhile, Pakistan has not responded to the announcement. Talking to The Dependent, Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi said that they were kinda hoping this whole thing would blow over and they wouldn’t have to take Sami back.

“Idk, if we keep ignoring the offer maybe they’ll get the hint? Otherwise I guess he’ll just have to stand in that bit between the gates at Wagha.