Five things Lahoris do at food festivals

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Corporate sponsored food festivals are all the hype right now. Nothing stamps a weekend better than getting stuck in traffic, conceiving food babies and getting in all the social interaction you will eventually regret. Here’s a list of things that Lahoris do at food festivals.

Learn how to trash by ‘unlearning’

A wise man once said that schools and universities just put people into ‘boxes’. And it is at these ‘fests’ that people unlearn everything they have learnt at school and trash the environment like there’s no tomorrow. But here’s a hunch that maybe they connect with the garbage on a spiritual level.

Run into their friends and friend of friends (and exes, we dare add)

In a city like Lahore, it is common to run into a friend, or someone you know from somewhere else, or someone you have stalked on Instagram. These food festivals tend to bring everyone together, which can be quite awkward at times. But because of the crowds of teenagers, there’s plenty space to hide from someone (if the need arises).

Get noise-induced hearing loss

Even before the musician takes the stage, there’s a lot of noise. It can be difficult to hear your friends over the crowd. But it’s probably not a disadvantage for you can steer them to your favorite stall if their voice of dissent is ‘weak’.

Receive a lesson in moderation

The serving sizes at the food stalls are often inadequate for our ‘foodie’ friends. Perhaps the cost includes the ‘ambience’ of mosquitos and fresh air. Either way, it teaches men to exercise control.

Have a street food exchange

Though Karachiites and Lahoris regularly have fights on Twitter over who gets Biryani right, they are pretty happy trying each other’s food specialities at these festivals.