Women’s cycle rally cancelled in Peshawar after low participation of photogenic westerners


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

PESHAWAR – The first women’s bicycle rally scheduled to take place in Peshawar on January 19 was cancelled after an insufficient number of photogenic foreigners registered to participate in the event, officials said.

After an organisation working for women’s rights had organised the ‘peace rally’ that was scheduled to begin from Peshawar’s Hayatabad neighbourhood on Saturday, it was found that there just weren’t enough westerners needed for the purpose to be achieved.

“How will we show that Pakistan is actually a peaceful place, and especially that Peshawar is now the hub of tranquility, if there aren’t fair and lovely people from the west in the pictures that we share through official social media pages of all state institutions,” said an official while talking to The Dependent.

According to the event’s organisers, at least 35 women were slated to participate in the rally. But the participation of those belonging to western countries was low.

“Low here means zero, of course,” said a member of the provincial assembly wishing anonymity citing the sensitivity of the matter. “We all know perfectly well that one photogenic foreigner biking around the city would’ve sufficed in underlining how peaceful Peshawar is.”