Nation’s stray barking dogs reporting positively to biting colleagues


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – During the early hours of Sunday, January 13 a nationwide awareness campaign was initiated by nation’s stray barking dogs, sources within the dog mass communication industry have told The Dependent.

Well-placed sources confirm that after a message was delivered to members of the industry the seniors chose to do the needful and decided to spread the word.

“Following the message, it was decided that we are going to report positively as we had been instructed earlier. Many of us senior members of the dog fraternity felt that we had already been pretty positive in our reporting but we clearly need to do more,” a senior stray dog said while talking to The Dependent under strict condition of anonymity.

Sources have further revealed that the industry leaders have decided to focus on a particular demographic.

“We have tried to channelise the positivity of our reporting towards our biting colleagues,” revealed a stray publisher dog who asked that her name be concealed citing obvious life threats.

In interviews with The Dependent, members of the community further revealed that they’ll be reporting positively from anonymous social media accounts as well.

“Well at least from the ones that we haven’t been coerced into deactivating, and the ones that we actually run and aren’t bots,” said a member of the dog intelligentsia.