Error 404, says Cynthia Ritchie during internet outage


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Noted not-a-journalist-but-strategic-communications-consultant Cynthia Ritchie said “Error 404” after a short internet outage in the federal capital on Thursday.

“Error 404,” she said after its users repeatedly pressed the F5 refresh button.

“Damn it, it’s down again,” said its shift-in-charge, who referred the problem to his commanding officer. Upon investigation, however, it was revealed that there was nothing wrong with it itself, but was merely the result of an internet outage.

“We would like for its users not to conflate internet problems with problems with the unit itself,” read a subsequent written office circular from the CO.

“This is a quality product and we are paying quite a packet for it.”

Later, after Nayatel technicians fixed the internet coverage in the area, it was back interacting with individuals on twitter. But not after the usual startup problems. When an individual on twitter asked it why it, as a completely outsider, was speaking on divisive local issues like the PTM, minorities and the role of the military, it said, “Cynthia D Ritchie was not shut down properly. Click on either of the following.”

“Restore. Startup Page.”