Adiala residents confused about whether to put up ‘Welcome back’ or ‘Happy Birthday’ banner


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

The residents of Adiala jail have found themselves in a tricky situation in the wake of Mian Nawaz Sharif’s recent conviction in the Al-Azizia reference, as they mull over whether to put up ‘Welcome back’ or ‘Happy Birthday’ banners for his return to the Pindi jail.

“We were all already kind of planning to throw a little something together. You know, get some balloons, couple of samosas, set-up a video chat – just something low key” said Muhammad Shehreyar, an arson convict from Rawalpindi.

“But this, this is huge. Mian sb is going to be spending his big day with us” he said.

“I honestly can’t believe the court did this today of all days. I mean, a day before his birthday? Do we welcome him back or do we wish him a birthday?” questioned Mehmood Afzal, who is serving a life sentence for pyramid schemes.

“We had all grown pretty tight with Mian sb during his stay here. He was always so sweet you know? And he really got us through some tough times with all those late night heart to hearts” said another convict wishing anonymity.

“He was just such a philosopher. I fixed my relationship with both my wife and my girlfriend thanks to his advice” he went on to say.

“We’ve considered doing both, but there really isn’t enough space underneath the gate” said on of the prison guards, who is also excited about Mian sb’s return.

“Oh damn this is gonna be so epic” he added.