(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – The Central Ruet-e-Hilal committee met on Sunday evening looking to spot the paradox in the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) government taking action against Tehrik-e-Labbaik Pakistan (TLP) for street thuggery, challenging the writ of the state, and expressing propensity towards violence.
Under the chairmanship of Mufti Muneeb-ur-Rehman, the Central Ruet-e-Hilal committee confirmed that irony had been sighted throughout the country.
“The decision has been made on the basis of witnesses,” Munib-ur-Rehman told the media. “We have received shahadat from all over the country, with people from all provinces confirming that they have seen the irony in the PTI government arresting the TLP leadership.”
Munib-ur-Rehman confirmed that the decision had been taken after taking provincial and district-level Ruet-e-Hilal committees on board, which had also met in their respective areas to record witnesses of the irony.
Following the Central Ruet-e-Hilal committee’s announcement, the nation will collectively celebrate the irony with joy and festivity on Sunday.
To further reaffirm the decision made after Ruet-e-Hilal committee’s often criticised ways of spotting glimmers of light, the Pakistan Meteorological Department (PMD) backed the announcement based on scientific calculations and logic.
“We made the calculations once it became evident that the TLP would be taking up the PTI’s opposition role under the PTI government,” a PMD official said while talking to The Dependent.