‘Recording of MBS giving instructions to silence Khashoggi just locker room talk,’ says Trump


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

WASHINGTON – Responding to the CIA having a recording of a phone call in which Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman gave instructions to “silence Jamal Khashoggi as soon as possible”, US President Donald Trump said the recorded discussion was just ‘locker room talk’.

In a White House statement released on Wednesday Trump said the recording has been ‘grossly misinterpreted’.

“My good friend MBS doesn’t need to give anyone instructions to kill anyone. He is perfectly capable of doing it himself,” the statement read.

“MBS is purchasing $110 billion worth of weapons from me and you think he won’t have a gun with him to pop open someone’s head himself?” the President of the US further asked.

“Therefore, what the CIA have, in fact, I assume, is a recording of my dearest friend talking to some of his friends, engaging in locker room talk,” the statement continued.

“You know that is how a guy talks with a bunch of guy friends, on the phone, this is normal. In fact, this is just one phone call, US and Saudi officials have similar locker room talks every day, especially over Yemen.”