Pakistan team capable of winning Hockey World Cup, NBA, Grammy Awards: Islahuddin


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.) 

LAHORE – With only one change made in the national squad for the recently commenced hockey World Cup, chief selector Islahuddin Siddiqui claimed Pakistan were capable of winning the 14th edition of the World Cup.

Talking exclusively to The Dependent, Islahuddin criticised those exhibiting low ambitions just because Pakistan could not qualify for the 2014 edition and finished bottom of the 12 team tournament in 2010.

“Having an extremely embarrassing record in World Cups and other major international events like Olympics and Champions Trophy during recent years is no reason to aim for less,” he said.

“Pakistan are capable of winning the hockey World Cup, and even the NBA, MLB, NHL leagues. Individually the athletes are capable of winning any of the four golf or tennis majors, and I’m pretty sure we can find a potential F1 champion within the squad as well.

“In fact, why limit ourselves to sport only? This bunch can collectively or individually win Grammy Awards, Oscars, Nobel Prizes or the Pulitzer – depending on what they take up!”

While acknowledging that winning the hockey World Cup – or any of the other mentioned awards – would be “a challenge” Islahuddin maintained that his claims are condition to any given day.

“Our players on a given day have the ability to stun anyone in the world. Whether that’s rival hockey teams or musicians like Ariana Grande, Travis Scott, BTS and Cardi B.”