Pakistan Today

Existential angst hits Fakhar-e-Alam after realising he’s exactly where he started

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

A wave of existential angst has hit pop artist (?) Fakhar-e-Alam in the early hours of Monday morning, as he realised that he was exactly where he had started a few months ago.

The unscheduled bout of angst that made the singer (?) question the reason for his more four decades of existence on earth. The unexpected angst attack came after Fakhar-e-Alam had been had just finished his mission to become the first Pakistani to circumvent the globe. Completely oblivious to the fact that he was quite literally going around in a circle, it was only when he reached Karachi that it hit hum he was literally back where he started.

“It was exactly how I left it, Karachi that is, nothing was even a little different” he said speaking to The Dependent, his voice shaking, barely making it to the ears of the reporter taking the comment.

“I mean, on a subconscious level, I guess I always kind of new that I was going to end up exactly where I started. Like, I mean on a literal level I suppose I knew, but damn it really does hit you.”

“I suppose that’s all of us in everything, however” he said twirling a cigarette between his fingers before dropping it onto the carpet where it started to burn.

“After staring at the cigarette as it started a fire, he looked away from it and let everything around him start burning.

“I mean, I am literally on a physical level back where I started. But don’t we all end up where we started at the end of the day? With God, or with the universe or nature or whatever. Is there even as thing as evolution or is it just constant transformation?” he questioned a bewildered reporter only trying to get a fluff worthy comment for a small piece on him becoming the first Pakistani to circumnavigate the globe.

Meanwhile, everything around Fakhar-e-Alam, including himself, continued to burn.

“No, don’t call anyone” he said when this paper’s reporter tried to convince him to call the fire fighters.

“If I do burn, I will simply become one again with the universal life force” he added.

At press time, Fakhar-e-Alam’s physical being had evaporated, and only his spirit remained lurking on earth, unable to pass into the next realm because of the existential angst shackling him to this world.

 

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