(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Speaking at a press conference on the occasion of the ‘International Day Against Impunity For Crimes Against Journalists’, Federal Information Minister Fawad Chauhdhry has said that fashion journalists in the country have complete freedom in the country to practice their profession.
“People that say Pakistan has a problem with censorship are clearly not giving us enough credit” he said. “I mean, you’ll never see the government ever interfering explicitly or implicitly on what fashion journalists write or broadcast.”
“In fact, we as a government actively encourage the robust and thriving community of fashion journalists in Pakistan” the minister went on to say.
“Don’t like purple? Go ahead. That may be the wrong opinion, but you can say it nevertheless” he said with a rather smug look, a look that stretched over the unending expanses of his face, astonishing journalists once more as to the sheer size of the minister’s face.
However, once questions started pouring in from the gathered journalists, the minister seemed to turn back on some of his words.
“No actually the problem is that some things journalists, even in the fashion beat, must be careful about” he said.
“There are certain white robes and other khaki hues against which nothing can be said because there is nothing to be said” he said as the journalists continued to be awe struck by just how large his face is.
“Also, handkerchiefs in waistcoat pockets are cool and you can’t say otherwise” he said while pulling his own kerchief out and wiping sweat off that face of his, making the journalists there forget why they were there in the first place.