(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
ISLAMABAD – Amidst continued speculation over how and why an Israeli jet flew to Islamabad from Tel Aviv via Amman and went back, Federal Information Minister Fawad Chaudhry has decided to clear the misconceptions once and for all.
Speaking to The Dependent, Chaudhry has revealed who actually travelled from Israel to Pakistan, staying in Islamabad for ten hours and then returned.
“Nobody,” Chaudhry revealed. “Nobody came to Pakistan from Israel, because it was a cargo jet that did not have any passengers,” he added.
When asked what cargo arrived in Islamabad, Chaudhry said, “it was the already used – done to death I would say – Zionist conspiracy theories. Nothing original or of particularly high quality.”
Fawad Chaudhry revealed that those conspiracy theories that were in better condition were kept by the government officials for use.
“There were some better conspiracy theories, most of which had been recycled. We decided to keep those for further use – in fact I used some of them in my Jhelum speech on Saturday,” Chaudhry added.
“The reason it took the jet ten hours to offload the cargo and go back home is because we took time sifting the overused conspiracy theories with new ones on offer, or at least those that we could shape into something good. We really need a dedicated person for this job.”
At press time, veteran sifter Zaid Zaman Hamid was confirmed as the federal government’s chief advisor on Zionist conspiracy theories.