(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION – Following a heated exchange of tweets between Federal Minister for Human rights Shireen Mazari, and singer Momina Mustehsan, over Coke Studio’s rendition of the song ‘Ko Ko Korina’, Benjamin Parker, of Spiderman fame, has expressed his shock over the ‘blatantly wrong’ use of his ‘only famous’ dialogue from the comic series.
“Are you frikkin’ kiddin’ me? I have been dead for decades and the only time I am being discussed this big is when someone decides to quote my ONLY worth remembering quote on Twitter in an altogether wrong situation,” said Parker in a statement issued on Monday evening.
Famously known as ‘Uncle Ben’ – the same reference being used by Mustehsan in her tweet in which she lectured the Minister following her critique of the song – Parker’s claim to fame has been his dialogue: “With great power comes great responsibility”.
The quote was used by Mustehsan in her tweet in which she lashed out at the Minister for being critical of her rendition of the song.
Uncle Ben was seen face-palming following the tweet.
The comic series has also come out in support of Uncle Ben saying his legacy cannot be tarnished by the wrong use of his oh-so-famous dialogue.
“You see, the problem here is that he probably just had few lines in the comic series. And he dies shortly after delivering this one. So you can imagine the weight this one line bears,” said a spokesman of the comic series.
“To be majorly misrepresented in death, that too, for the only dialogue people EVER knew you for, should be a bummer. That too for this rendition. Gosh! That has got to suck!”
Sources close to the Parker family have revealed that Uncle Ben is exploring legal options over the issue, including action against cyber-bullying and incitement to being considered ‘dumb’.
“I am not even pretty or woke. So the only thing that I shall be attributed to after this mess is being dumb. ‘Dumb dead Uncle Ben’,” said senior Parker.
“By the way, what’s with ‘Uncle’ Ben? Main phuppa hoon tum sab ka?”
Meanwhile, the Minister at the heart of the controversy is being rumoured to consider proposing the use of the phrase: “With great power comes great responsibility”, as the official catchline for Naya Pakistan.
“Sure, I had a good laugh after her childish response. But I like the way she thinks. It reminded of us and the Naya Pakistan,” said the Minister.
Meanwhile, following Uncle Ben’s outrage, Chief Justice Saqib Nisar has taken a suo moto notice of the complaint and the rent rendition of Koko Korina in Coke Studio, ordering the singers involved and the producers of the show to appear in court next week.
Talking to The Dependent, the chief complained about destruction of Pakistan’s heritage by the ‘westernised’ generation and questioned the need for Coke Studio in a country where safe water access is hardly guaranteed.
He also mentioned the possibility of fining Coca Cola $100 million to shore up the Damn Fund and to produce a decent song for the Dam effort.