Sahibzada Jahangir turns down advisory position after being asked to bring own lunchbox to work


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – UK businessman Sahibzada Jahangir has refused to hang out with his decades-old buddy, now prime minister, Imran Khan “in view of the past experiences”.

Despite being given the portfolio of special assistant on foreign investments, Jahangir was not thrilled to be a part of the cabinet where everyone has to bring their own lunch box amid the austerity drive, which, sources close to Jahangir confirm, “brought back haunting memories” of the early days of his friendship with Khan.

Taking to Twitter, Jahangir said that he has “decided to voluntarily withdraw from the assignment,” explaining that how he has become tired of investing in the life of the cricketer-turned-politician.

He also lashed out at the mainstream media for “fake allegations to malign” his character and dignity just because of his close ties and adventures with Imran.

“It will affect my performance,” he reasoned while announcing to withdraw his name from the position.

Jahangir rubbished reports that he was banned from all London casinos due to his alleged bankruptcy cases, saying that “going to casino is haram anyway”.

The UK businessman stated that he will not take any salary or benefits, if there were any to work under the PM Khan-led cabinet, to bring foreign investment in the country.

On allegations that he has links with the Indian film industry and has invested in several Bollywood projects, he commented that at least they are a profitable business where you get return on investment.