BJP govt changes India’s name back to precolonial ‘not a unified state’


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

NEW DELHI – The Bharattiya Janata Party (BJP) government on Tuesday approved a proposal to rename the historic country that it governs from India to its precolonial name of ‘not a unified state’.

Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi had announced the move in a Margdarshak Mandal meeting for Kumbh recently where he received this proposal from seers.

“Not a unified state’ means a confluence of multiple nations, ethnicities, princely state and kingdoms,” Modi told The Dependent.

“While the kingdoms might have evolved, we still a confluence of nations, ethnicities, cultures and languages, none of which existed as a unified state prior to colonial invasions. Therefore, India’s name should be reverted back to what it has been known for the most part of its history ‘not a unified state’,” the Indian PM added.

Sources within the Indian government have informed The Dependent that while the name change was always on the cards, there were other names considered before ‘not a unified state’ was finalised.

These included, ‘was never a state prior to colonisation’, ‘did not exist as a country’ and ‘still not really a nation state’, government insiders confirm.

Nationalists and historians of what will soon be known as Not a Unified State, are lauding the Indian government’s move to ‘undo the colonial legacies.’

“We need to strive to return our motherland to how it was before colonialists changed so much about it, including creating the very state which we govern,” Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath said while talking to The Dependent.