(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
The nation’s premiere hub of literary criticism and authors of the influential cultural reference point Are You More Like Sassi From “O Rangreza” Or Jia From “Suno Chanda” Quiz have come down hard on the Hilal Group of Industries over a commercial of theirs.
Mangobaaz have rewatched the classic Ding Dong Bubble advertisement and have come to the conclusion that it is an extremely problematic watch in 2019.
“First was the body shaming of the Billi with that whole moti-taazi shade, which is NOT okay,” read the emergency editorial on the homepage.
“Like so not okay.”
“Then there are ‘the bad guys’ of the piece, the mice. Why is their ring-leader wearing an eye-patch? What message, exactly, are we sending our cycloptic citizens? That they are always to be stereotyped as the bad guys?”
“Then there is the supposedly adulatory reference to the Billi as Sher ki khala. Where do the billionaires at Hilal get the idea that they can get away with giving such patriarchal reference points? She is her own being, independent of any relation to a powerful male. Did they ever refer to the lion as her nephew?”
“And then, even though as we mentioned above, we are not about body-shaming, but we are about eating right. That Ding-Dong-Bubble-only diet that they showed the cat having is unhealthy and unsustainable. To confirm this, we asked put up this question to the Vice Chancellor of the University of Veterinary and Animal Sciences, Lahore and his response was a resounding ‘Who are you and what you doing in my house?’”