“Awww, you remembered my birthday” says Imran Khan over secure line


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

“Aww, you remembered” said Prime Minister Imran Khan on Friday over a secure line.

The Prime Minister was speaking in reference to the arrest of former Chief Minister Punjab and Leader of the Opposition Mian Shehbaz Sharif by NAB in the Ashiana housing project case.

“I didn’t think you’d remember to get me anything for my birthday” he said while smiling daintily and visibly blushing.

“I mean I thought at most you’d send me a wish or throw some underling of the Sharif’s in jail, but this, this is special” he said while flashing all 32 of his peary whites.

“Honestly, after that thing you pulled last month, I was honestly pretty mad at you. I was like, ‘Jaani WTF’, but this just shows how much you love me” he said.

The response from the other end was not to pleased at this comment, however, and gently but firmly told Imran never to speak of that again and to never ask them about their business.

“No no. I didn’t mean that. Uff tum bhi na” he said in response, his earlier glee having turned into clear worry, anxiety and self-doubt.

The voice on the other end of the secureline then proceeded to tell him that this too probably wouldn’t last, and that they wanted to hysterics and ugly tears when this new gift broke too.