Will fix PTV employees’ teeth in exchange for forgetting PTV attack case, says President


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Will perform dental services for the employees of the Pakistan Television Corporation in exchange for the organisation forgetting the 2014 PTV attack case, said the President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan on Tuesday.

“Yes, I have immunity now, which the PTV employees’ teeth don’t have from cavities,” he said.

“But I don’t want to use the immunity because then it’ll be a whole thing. So how about it, guys?”

On September 1st, 2014, the current Head of State, along with scores of supporters from the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaaf, allegedly stormed the PTV building on Constitution Avenue, Islamabad and indulged in some vandalism.

Later, a phone call of his to the current Prime Minister Imran Khan was also released on the internet, describing in clear, unequivocal terms what had transpired and what was expected of him.

“Damages? Sure, fixing all the damages incurred would have cost a lot. I got that. But do you guys even know how much a root canal costs these days? It’s quite a lot!”

“Hmm…right, it is quite a lot,” he repeated to himself.

Till the filing of this press report, the President changed his offer to “give a generous discount for fixing PTV employees’ teeth.”

“But generous does not mean 50 percent. Wait, let me give you the discount percentage in a bit.”

This is a developing story.