PCB demands Bangladeshis, Afghans be given nationalities immediately


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

The Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has demanded that Prime Minister Imran Khan be as good as his word and at once grant citizenship to Afghanis and Bangladeshis born in Pakistan.

“Like right now” said PCB Chairman Ehsan Mani talking to The Dependent.

“Look man, I know I’m supposed to fix Pakistan cricket and all, but I’m only human. And right now, we need players for the middle order and an extra opener, and these guys seem to be pretty good at that” he said.

“If you want cricket to prosper then we must do the right thing and give these people citizenship. Also, forget winning, if we want a chance at not embarrassingly crashing out of the world cup, we’re gonna need these guys” Chief Selector Imam ul Haq told The Dependent.

“Forget people born here, I’m so in support of this that I think we should actually bring people already living in Afghanistan over” said Mani.

“I think we should start with that Rashid Khan fellow. Or even this Mushfiq person. I say just bring them over. We’ll even give him a job to get him started” said the Chief Selector.

“Plus its the right, human thing to do” he went on.

“As well as the only way we can hope to have a better team” he then added.

“I mean, these people are hard workers, as well as such great stroke makers. Plus they seem to have no fitness issues at all.”