Asad Umer on emergency visit to avail Nigerian prince’s offer of donation to dam fund


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD AIRPORT: Finance Minister Asad Umer, in a hurried conference, informed the press that he was going to Nigeria on an emergency visit to meet an important Nigerian prince.

Giving details, he said that he had received a remarkable offer from a Nigerian prince via e-mail of a donation of billions of dollars in cash and gold to the DamFund initative.

“The Accountant General has already transferred the $1000 requisite Expression of Interest that the prince had requested as per protocol in such cases,” said the finance minister. “It is not only the protocol, but it would also help the prince recover the deposits from a western bank that were left by his late illustrious father.”

“We also offered to give honorary citizenship to the prince but he said he could not come over,” he said. “That is why I am heading out to Abuja, instead of his coming here.”

“I don’t know why he has also asked if I have two healthy, fully-functioning kidneys, but I suppose that is a cultural saying that they ask whenever someone is making a journey,” he concluded.