(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
KARACHI – After senior party leader Shehla Raza’s retracted controversial tweet Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) Chairman Bilawal Bhutto Zardari issued a reminder that his party is the only secular party in 90 years to establish religious apartheid in a state.
“Of course, the 90 years here is symbolic, because there wasn’t any secular party before these 90 years that had done so either,” Bilawal boasted in an exclusive interview with The Dependent.
The PPP chairman maintained that while the Islamist parties and even those centrist parties that tilted towards the right had also upheld the religious apartheid, there is added significance when it is actually a party upholding secularism that does it.
“If you notice that is the legacy of the country as well. Secular minded leaders upholding radical Islamist movements, such as divisions along communal lines or determining who is and isn’t a Muslim in this country,” he added.
Bilawal, however, was quick to clarify that he personally didn’t endorse the apartheid one bit.
“But then again our founding father didn’t really believe that Hindus and Muslims are two different nations, and my grandfather didn’t really believe that Islamic socialism or Islamic bomb is a thing,” he said.
“However, neither would’ve been known today – or ever – in this part of the world, had they not hypocritically contradicted their own beliefs in pursuit of fame and political power.”