New KP CM not my robot, says Khattak while installing software update on Mehmood Khan


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

Peshawar – The new chief minister of Khyber Pakhtunkhwa was not a robot of his, said former KP CM Pervez Khattak at his residence, while installing the latest software update on him.

Speaking to reporters at a press conference, he said that the impression that Mehmood Khan is completely unfounded, while clearing up disk space for the latest update.

“Opposition parties usually do things like these, when they….oops, hold on,” he said, while plugging in the former sports minister into a newby socket as the update required for him to either be plugged in or have more than 50% of charge.

“He will be a completely independent chief executive of the province,” said Khattak. “The impression that he will do my bidding is completely off the mark.”

“Mehmood Khan, why don’t you tell these reporters that you will be completely independent?”

“Hello world,” said the incoming CM.

“No, no, not that,” said Khattak. “Say what I asked you to say.”

“Error 404,” said Mehmood Khan.

After a hard reset, Mehmood Khan finally spoke to reporters.

“Mehmood Khan is going to be a completely independent chief minister,” he said. “He was born on 30 October 1972 in Matta, Swat. He will be the 17th chief minister of the province (not counting interims) and the 21st (counting pre-partition CMs but not interims) [Wikipedia]”