(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Coming down strongly against the HEC’s rejection of the PTI’s claims of having set up nine universities during its tenure, former KP CM Pervez Khattak said on thursday that though the Awami National Party may have constructed them in their tenure, it was only the PTI that had upgraded them by including them in campaign ads.
“When the ANP constructed them, they were only fully-staffed sub-campuses of existing varsities or even new fully fledged universities,” he said.
“But they were not featured in any ad. It was only the PTI that upgraded their status to that of universities that have seen screentime.”
“When we took over, those universities had shockingly low-levels of DSLR coverage. But upon taking over, the Department for Higher Education immediately commissioned some photographers to take photos,” he said.
“Furthermore, they commissioned graphic designers to place Imran Khan, myself and Atif next to the university building facade.”
“Inshallah, we hope to perform these upgrades to much older varsities as well, like the Islamia College, Peshawar and, God willing, the Govt College, Lahore and DJ College, Karachi.”