Dependent survey: The party you will vote for has won the election


(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD/LAHORE/KARACHI/PESHAWAR/QUETTA – The party you will vote for in the upcoming general elections on Wednesday has won the elections, reliable sources have informed The Dependent.

This survey, which is simultaneously both pre and post-poll, is consistent with the predictions made by multiple groups and organisations which in the lead up to the elections revealed that whichever party you will eventually vote for will win the upcoming general elections.

It is pertinent to mention here that following the conclusion of the most transparent elections in the history of the country, which were see-through long before even the polling took place, the party you will vote for will form a coalition government with other parties that you are going to vote for on Wednesday.

This process – where you will vote for the party that won, which along with another party that you will vote for will form the next government – completes a decade of democracy in Pakistan.

Experts maintain that this successful transition of power from one government to another for the second consecutive time bodes well for democracy in the country, and say that considering your role in the process, you deserve a pat on the bank and a drink.

At press time, you have ordered a midnight meal from your favourite fast food chain to celebrate the historic achievemen