(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LAHORE/DOHA – In an official statement released on Thursday, the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) has released an official statement asking Qatar based news channel Al Jazera to alter the party’s orientation in an article published on their website.
“The online feature published by the Al Jazera on their website says that the Pakistan People’s Party is a ‘centre left’ party, which is not an accurate depiction of the PPP,” the statement read.
“We would like to officially request the channel to edit the political orientation of the PPP from ‘centre left’ to ‘whatever’s left’, which the party maintains has been its inclination for over a decade now.”
Following suit a similar request has also been forwarded by the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) in an official statement.
“It is not correct to say that the Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf is ‘centre right’, the political orientation that we identify with is ‘always right’” the official statement read.
The Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz (PML-N) also feels that its billing as a ‘centre right’ party isn’t accurate either.
“We play as the centre forward,” a party leader said before filing the formal request. Similarly, the Awami Workers Party (AWP) has requested a change from ‘left’ to ‘left out’.
Meanwhile, the Mutahhida Qaumi Movement feels that ‘centre’ is insufficient in describing the party’s ideology. “Centre of trouble would be more accurate,” a senior party leader maintained.