(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
LONDON – Immediately after Nawaz Sharif’s son-in-law Captain (r) Safdar addressed a power show in Rawalpindi and gave up his dramatic surrender to NAB officials, Maryam Nawaz on Sunday began a poll on Twitter asking her followers, “Who was the better captain today: Sarfraz or Safdar?”
During her occasional Twitter spats, she took matters to a whole new level by saying that “Boys played really well, but Capt Safdar outperformed all,” right after Pakistan’s win against Australia in tri-series finale.
When the fans asked why she was discouraging the Pakistani cricketers, she responded that although Pakistan won the match and remained number one in T20I ranking, for me, Safdar will always be number one. “Winning nine consecutive T20I series is nothing as compared to getting arrested for being a son-in-law,” she argued.
Arguments from both sides heated up the debate as cricket fans geared up to criticise the ex-premier’s daughter. One follower of Maryam Nawaz defended her stance and wrote, “oH WoW, your Dress look$ aMaziG. YoU r tRue leaDeR.”
“Yes, there were some missed chances but Safdar stood tall and build the momentum,” said another ardent PML-N worker who self-identifies as a liberal journalist.
The discussion led to the beginning of a poll and now it is up to the bot-power of the major political parties to decide the results. “Pakistan will never have a better captain than Imran Khan because I say so,” responded one particularly noisy PML-N critic who appeared to work for the PTI.
However, NAB officials arrested Capt Safdar two days after he was sentenced to one-year jail term in the Avenfield corruption reference. His fiery entry into ‘Pindi was not the first time he outperformed the entire Sharif family. “Watch and learn,” remarked Safdar as he dropped the mic and handcuffed himself.
At press time, Twitter officials were monitoring Maryam Nawaz’s poll and reconfirming if it breached any guidelines of the social media platform.