‘Fix account deficit now’, Chief Justice shouts as he throws Rs50 note at depleting currency reserves

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(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

ISLAMABAD – Chief Justice of Pakistan (CJP) Mian Saqib Nisar Thursday threw a Rs50 note at the depleting currency reserves, shouting that the economic crisis be fixed immediately.

“The rate at which the current account deficit is growing in the country is [no less than] a bomb,” said Nisar, while throwing the note as he singlehandedly addressed 0.00000000256892 % of the $15.96 billion worth deficit facing Pakistan.

A three-member bench of the apex court also deliberated on whether current account deficit is allowed in Islam.

CJP Nisar then noted that the Rs50 note he had thrown was the one he was going to use for a little pre-lunch meal during the break.

“This is what dedication and performance looks like,” he said pointing towards the Rs50 note on the floor, which he realised was too far from his reach to pick up again.

After the session the CJP picked up his own bag for roughly two and a half minutes to address the exploitation of labour, said hello to a female colleague to resolve the gender gap crisis, and told the varying spellings of suo motu to an intern to fix the educational crisis in the country, all in the span of 11 minutes and 42 seconds.