(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)
Expanding upon their stringent vetting process, the PML-N has decided to include an essay section in their election ticket application forms which asks applicants to write an essay on Waris Vs Muhammadi Nehari.
“It is quite brilliant actually, this way we will know that the person in question is one hundred percent on our side, and will not waver from the party line come what may” said PML-N President Shehbaz Sharif, speaking exclusively to The Dependent.
“I was apprehensive at first, but Quaid for Life Mian Nawaz insisted on this, and I agree. Now that we are an ideological party, it’s high time that we start behaving like it.”
“The best part is that there is room for thought. This is an open ended request for comment, not a question with a straightforward answer.”
“We don’t just want someone that says this one is better or that one is better. No. We want someone that can think analytically and try to convince us. We are open to all Neharis, so long as they are Neharis and would like nothing more than to civilly discuss the different textures, temperatures and complementary products that go with it” he went on to say.
“You think Sheer Maal goes better with Muhammadi than Waris? I disagree but try to convince me. That is the kind of attitude we’re trying to foster here.”
When asked what the official judgement on the Muhammadi-Waris argument was, Sharif admitted that Mian Nawaz had an affinity for Muhammadi but he was always open to debate on this topic.
“Just as long as we stay away from khalai food products like steak or burgerss” he ended.